.

how i completely lost myself

2009-06-10T02:01:00Z

it's true!! i've been hiding or gone or evaporated
i can blame my father or my mother
they've said and done many a thing to crush my spirits like make me take down the art in my room or stop writing because the content was disturbing BUT
i've been really silly and should have never listened to them in the first place. because now im lost and don't even know where to begin when i think about my "future" (aka my major, career, bullshit)
i forgot that i am good at many things, though not too good at many things. i like it all, though, and i want to do it again!
where did i leave off? i want to do it all again!

eh, woman

2009-03-15T20:06:51Z

want:
1. moodorama - listen
2. vaporgenie
3. new bathing suit

lovepowder @ 2008-12-20T16:59:00

2008-12-20T21:59:45Z

when i flex my butt my tailbone cracks haha

lovepowder @ 2008-11-27T01:15:00

2008-11-27T06:15:29Z

junkie movies make me feel good inside

lovepowder @ 2008-09-04T08:46:00

2008-09-04T12:46:36Z

college now.

hmm

lawwwlll

2008-08-04T06:00:45Z

so my skeezy exboyfriend patrick is gonna be a baby daddy... and they planned it.
i'm just so so glad it's not me haaahha!!

wheeowww

2008-07-27T19:04:23Z

so i went and got bra fitted today and i am 32C. 32C!!! i've been wearing a 34A this whole time. bras are so weird, i think i have i figured out now. the cup size has everything to do with surface area... you don't have to have big knockers, just a lot of boob spread out over an area. the number is your back curve. some women have an arch, calling for a higher number

mmmm boathosue blueberry juice is so good.

lovepowder @ 2008-05-29T11:55:00

2008-05-29T15:56:57Z

hilary clinton, i will vote for you as soon as you whiten your teeth!
i'm trying to whiten my teeth... even bought the little kit. the hardest part is just remembering to stick those buggers on for 30 whole minutes while lisp-ing on the phone or trying not to salivate all over the keyboard cause i do nothing at home but sit on the computer or sit on the phone.
job is good school is pretty much over and life is kinda sweeeeet
no angst here! i'm in a swell mood, besides being at school right now. but i plan on taking both lunches today and playing flashlight tag tonight

yaw yaw yaw

2008-05-19T21:34:58Z

wellll let's see how much i hate going to the ogbyn
crack your legs wide open and let a cold plastic apparatus violate you and your old physician's fat latex fingers poke through your abdomen while he feels your ovaries only to toss the cunt cranker into an open trashcan of ones bloodied, dirty, stinking from the previous women before you
ohgodd i feel sick right now

to do list

2008-04-18T03:28:55Z

- buy a prom dress
- whiten my fuckin teeth
- ~~OCA scholarship~~
- ~~vacuum my disgusting room~~
- all my school work that i've put off for weeks...
- get more than 3-4 hours of sleep every night
- trim bangs
- eat fruit

lovepowder @ 2008-04-14T16:15:00

2008-04-14T20:15:50Z

uhh im pretty sure i met the muffin man today

hmmmmm

2008-03-31T02:53:44Z

i hate corndogs
& i walked upon cattails a few sundays ago which was really random
i straight up left church during service to go explore the durham wilderness and i came upon the most amazing swamp

!!!

2008-02-25T21:52:21Z

it's feeling just a little bit like springggg
the weather knows how to change my mood
i'm so happy to hear birds singing again

UM HAS THIS HAPPENED TO ANYBODY

2008-02-19T05:53:53Z

THIS IS THE CREEPIEST VIRUS EVER... I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE IT OR ICHAT HAS IT.

wait

2008-02-19T05:30:32Z

i always feel like a liar when i say, "God loves you," or feel like others are lying to say that. what if he doesn't? who am i or are we to say what God loves or doesn't love? we're bonked in the head with "God has so much love-- for everyone!" but he obviously doesn't even like everyone (much less love) if he's been known for smiting people off the face of the earth for his own reasons. i get the feeling we've been sugar-creaming Christianity for a really long time, but it's just the reciprocal to the old hell-fire, damnation Puritanical preaching experienced in the last few centuries. where's the balance, guys... c'mon now you can do it...

lovepowder @ 2008-02-14T23:02:00

2008-02-15T04:02:36Z

"reversion in human social evolution would be reduced to a footnote of history ... unless someone forced the world to remember it"
-- iris chang

lovepowder @ 2008-02-14T21:20:00

2008-02-15T02:23:22Z

today i barfed in my government teacher's trashcan during detention, though i was serving it alone in his empty room, god knows where he was. anyway, right after i spewed taco bell with hotsauce (delicious!) in and around that little brown bin, he walked in and smelled it and saw me and just stared. and then i started laughing and he showed me a program on his laptop that creates scores and we talked about music

luhvvv

2008-02-14T04:11:07Z

happy valentines day to all !
my holiday will consist of me browsing the internet for cute pictures of rodents.
<3

!!!

2008-02-04T01:00:07Z

i must have these!

edit:

one up. even better!

=T

2008-01-23T00:22:03Z

heath ledger is dead? was it a suicide?
this saddens me...
i thought he was pretty good-looking too

food<3

2008-01-13T05:17:55Z

check out all the different foods that airlines offer! i have to say, having flown cathay pacific myself, that they really do serve the most delicious cuisine. and they still use young, remotely attractive female flight attendants too (actually most asian airlines still do). i also have to say United takes the shittiest food trophy all the way. if only the U.S. still had class? anyway, i really miss traveling. and i love flying and airports.
i got mushroom jazz 3 today, and it comes right after MJ4 as my favourite mark farina album.
i saw a lot of lovely people today too. i'd have to say despite my parents' persistent bitching, i had a good day.

EEEEEEEEEE

2008-01-05T04:38:36Z

i got into chapel hill!
in your FACE, dad. thanks for always telling me i wouldn't get in and should probably try UNCCharlotte instead.
HAHAHAH

=D

2007-12-25T21:39:49Z

am i creepy because i want

lovepowder @ 2007-12-24T14:31:00

2007-12-24T19:35:36Z

i woke up happy this morning for the first time in god knows how long.
i am in love. with someone's better half that's been smothered by the other. though i'll be falling out of it meanwhile.
i'm feeling very optimistic
not even because it's christmas eve
but i dreamt of delicious food throughout the night and then had olive garden carry out a noon
i hated going to pennsylvania not too long ago, but i think i'd rather be making new first impressions again than anything

i will feel no satisfaction

2007-12-20T03:24:32Z

until you are ruined.